Film Posters 2

'oooooooooooooooooooh, Mrs Robinson are you trying to seduce me?
By the sounds of it your a bit late, I think I just jizzed in my pants" 
Being a method actor I had to lose 12 feet off my height ........
to qualify for the role of Dustin Hoffman

Here I played the simpleton 'hustler' Jon Voight ignore the fact I have altered Rats Rizo's (played by Dustin Hoffman) head on this poster to look like an enlarged version of my own (I did this on my laptop as a mere folly) I was also asked to perform the title theme music on my maracas by composer John Barry, I suggested I play it on my harmonica and I believe it was a huge success

Here I played Don Vito Brando from Corleone, on the Isles of Scilliy, I dont care what anyone says, this is definately the best of the Godfather triliogy, but then I would say that, having played the leading role

Not too sure what this photo is, possibly a pre release publicity shot, not too sure what Coppola was thinking letting this get out, looks like a first year student at special school did it on his Commodore 64

The Ambience for this film was based on Hayle, the technology however, was not

Sci Fi was now the thing, and Star Wars was the Film to set many standards. Fortunately I was to play many of the lead roles inlcuding the Schizophrenic Han Solo / Harrison Ford and Sir Alec Murphys. The Original Star Wars trilogy was brilliant but I think Lucas let his 12 year old grandson make the 3 prequels.

 Here I am trying to hail a cab from the North pole in one of the Superman movies, Superman spots my behind and develops a homosexual lust for my character  'Super Sailor' who has to beat him off, ahem i mean fend off his unwanted gay advances in a physical way, this was a pointless sub plot to that particular movie but the job paid well

Here I am playing Tony Montana, My mate Brian (De Palma) who directed this movie says I'm 'off my head' and that he cast Al Pacino as Tony Montana. Ofcource when we debate this at one of his orgie parties he always says I was in the Original '2 Howards' (Hughes/Hawks)  Scarface from 1932, "no I wasnt you daft twat" i'll tell him "Paul Muni played the lead in the original based on Al Capone". Brian always was a cock sucking mother fucker, the gay little cunt, oh how we'd laugh about how he based Tonys colourful language on my own.

George Lucas loved my portrayal of all of the main characters in the first Star Wars triliogy so much that he cast me again as the schizophrenic Han Solo, this time the lead thought he was also an archaeologist and not a fly by night space smuggler although that concept might also of been amusing in the setting of the film Indiana Jones, Confused? I am.

Full marks to Richard Trevithick Statue for playing the role of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the superior original movie however I got to play the lead in the big budget but inferior yet better paying sequel. Schwarzenegger Is a robot sent from the future to find out why he has such a silly surname, to add insult to injury his parents called him Arnold, He's goes back to the year 1991 to give his robot mum a slap, however it all ends happily ever after when it turns out Arnold is a much better robot than his nemesis Sylvester (who also has issues derived from his name). Arnold makes good and becomes governer of California about 12 years later.

Basic Instinct, also starred Sharon Stone when she was atractive